The real meaning of some Corporate Lingo.
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
Join Our Fast-Paced Company:
We have no time to train you
Casual Work Atmosphere:
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up-well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
Must Be Deadline Oriented:
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
Some Overtime Required:
Some time each night and some time each weekend.
Duties Will Vary:
Anyone in the office can boss you around.
Must Have An Eye For Detail:
We have no quality control.
Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
Apply In Person:
If you're old, fat or ugly you?ll be told the position has been filled.
No Phone Calls Please:
We've filled the job, our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
Seeking Candidates With A Wide Variety Of Experience:
You'll need it to replace three people who just left.
Problem-Solving Skills A Must:
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
Requires Team Leadership Skills:
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
Good Communication Skills:
Management communicates, you, figure out what they want and do.
I'm Extremely Adept At All Manner Of Office Organization:
I've used Microsoft Office.
I'm Honest, Hard-Working And Dependable:
I pilfer office supplies.
My Pertinent Work Experience Includes:
I hope you don't ask me about all the McJobs I've had.
I Take Pride In My Work:
I blame others for my mistakes.
I give lots of unsolicited personal advice to co- workers.
I'm Extremely Professional:
I carry a Day-Timer.
I Am Adaptable:
I've changed jobs a lot.
I Am On The Go:
I'm never at my desk.